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22.4.09

i pee blood!

It's no joke. It's no lie. It's no VGcats comic spoof. God. help. me.

I hate my periods. My cramps get so bad. I feel like my uterus is trying to explode. My ovaries too. Like little tiny balloons that are being filled up full to bursting. Ow. When I'm on my period my body lets me know. One way or another. Either through stabbing pain in my nether-regions or disgusting mishaps. It's usually the former.

I had a dream last night where I met Aubrey Graham, the guy who plays Jimmy from Degrassi: The Next Generation. It felt really real. I was casual and not-fanatical, and he just kinda ignored me. It's usually always like that, celebrity or not. But whatever. It was just a dream. Not that it really affects me. But it does make me question why would I have a dream about Jimmy when before I went to bed I watched 2 Degrassi episodes about Craig and the death of his abusive father. I donno.

Thinking about a story idea and a final characterization of my character Ivan Kozlov, my most used character for RP. I want him to be a doll but I don't want him extravagantly OHEMGEE!ish. More like the observer or the go-between, deserving a lover protective and warm though not flawless. I don't know what I'm going to do. It's a risk, righting a book to publish about a gay man in search of the perfect husband. Or boyfriend. I guess I'm still in the character developing process. I have so many versions of Ivan I don't know which one to really settle upon. I think I might go with the one I have the most fun with and mellow him out a little bit. He's overly flamboyant and playful. Which is what makes him fun to play.

I haven't written in a while, I've noticed. But also for good reason. I've been so busy with college. Homework has been biting me in the butt and the rest of the time I'm sleeping. I've decided on my first major. Printmaking. We did a bit of Printmaking for Creative Processes and it's a lot of fun. I love the communal feel of the school I go to. Even though there's still the popular and unpopular. Pretty much everyone knows everyone else, even if not by name. I've made a few good friends here. Anne, Britney, Eric, Jennifer, Ashley, Amanda, Leslie to name a few. I just saw Leslie the other day. Monday I think. First time I saw her since last semester. She looked gorgeous. She died her hair from her previous gold-blond to reddish brown. Very pretty either way.

Everyone here at Herron is very fashion forward with the artsy teenage-college student look. At least the girls. I'm embarrassed, coming to school in a tee-shirt, sweatpants and boots. I wish I could wear the same clothes as them. But, whatever. Clothes aren't everything I guess.

I haven't been staying up all night like I used to. I'm less tired than I used to be in my early morning classes, which is nice. I was notorious for nearly falling asleep in my English class. In Drawing it's kind of impossible, since you have to stand the whole period. I'm always exhausted after that class. Whew.

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